Quick Movie Review - The Fighter 22:52

"Based on a true story" is a term that carries a lot of weight in literature and film. In a heroic and positive work, it's natural to find yourself rooting that much harder for the protagonist—you want to believe that this actually happened to somebody, and that the human spirit actually prevailed to that extent, and rah rah. (I cried at the end of Rudy, and you know what? I'm a Michigan fan.) In serious and even grave works, as the Coen brothers noted with respect to their masterpiece Fargo, "based on a true story" can let you get away with things that the audience might dismiss as being over the top or excessively cruel. (Even though said film was actually fictional.)

But sometimes I think "based on a true story" can be taken too literally, and I felt that way after Mark Wahlberg's magnum opus The Fighter. The story of Micky Ward is told, as far as most anyone knows, almost exactly as it happened. Mark Wahlberg spent years conditioning and training for the film and actually invited real-life Micky into his home for a few months prior to filming to master his mannerisms and so on. The tragic but redeeming tale of his brother Dicky, a recovered crackhead, is executed masterfully by Christian Bale. The improbable victory Micky pulls off at the end—c'mon, it's a boxing movie, is that even a spoiler?—is written for Hollywood, it seems, with all of Micky's motley crew there by his side to congratulate him.

And I just... didn't quite feel it.

I think movie had a few problems, but one of the biggest might have been the lack of artistic license Wahlberg and director David O. Russel took. Micky is strong and determined, but he also comes off a bit indecisive and very understated. We know what's going through his head, but the lack of passion made me care significantly less than I felt like I should have at the final count.

Bale's character, Dicky, is obnoxious and self-absorbed for the most part, and the movie seems to be as much about his recovery and redemption as it is about Micky's career. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing—it's a touching tale, and one of the most moving, feel-good moments of the film actually didn't take place inside the ring but involved a store-bought cake and a crack den.

When we see the real brothers Micky and Dicky during the end credits, we realize just how well each actor nailed his respective role, especially Bale pulling off a tough accent (though at this point, do you expect any less?). But maybe too well. This film was an exercise in contrast and restraint, compared to, for instance, Wahlberg's last sports-themed semi-biopic, Invincible. But when I saw that movie, I had the goosebumps when Vince Papale made the big plays, even though the acting might have been a little hammier and the love interest seemed completely contrived.

It was a really good story, and I never felt bored during the telling of it, but I at times felt like the story drifted too far from Micky, and, like I said, I never had that goosebumps moment that every sports movie should have.

In terms of the style, the editing was curious at points. I found myself shouting "show the game!" at the screen during some of the pivotal fight scenes, as I often do when ESPN lingers too long on a promotional graphic or celebrity in the crowd at the expense of in-game action. The shots taking place of the fighting almost seemed cribbed from Rocky, with frantic, kind of blurry crowd, announcer, and corner shots... but if they were supposed to be subjective, it wasn't obvious enough. I also disliked the withdrawal montage in the middle of the film, which really didn't fit the pretty conservative and understated style of the rest of it.

All told, I enjoyed the movie but probably wouldn't highly recommend it. Usually I like to watch a movie (and write something like this) without reading the reviews because I tend to be impressionable, but I kind of watched this one solely based on the hype surrounding it and thought it failed to measure up in some respects. The "true story" was intriguing, and I might just have to research and watch some tape on the real Micky Ward to see what I think.

Quick Movie Review - Good Will Hunting 22:28

I really enjoyed this movie. I felt good after watching it. I don't think a movie necessarily has to have a happy ending to make you feel good afterward, though this one did - maybe excessively so.

The relationships felt real. Ben Affleck's character, Chuckie, was a loyal friend, always helpful but also not afraid to dig in a little bit when he had to. There was no character development among Will's fellow "Southies," but that was probably the point Chuckie was trying to make at the construction yard toward the film's climax. The love interest in the film was secondary to the most important relationship Will had, but she certainly served as a vehicle to advance Will's self-realization and development, and the two had some chemistry. Between their flirtation, tears, and lazy afternoons... I bought it, and that fact made the somewhat over-the-top ending more tolerable.

But the most important relationship was between Will and Sean, played by Robin Williams in a remarkably poignant role. After he decided to just ditch the terrible Baaahstin accent about 45 minutes into the movie, his character proved to be loving and lovable. While the love interest was merely a vehicle for Will to see his defensive and self-destructive tendencies, Sean was the motor driving it, and the bond between the two probably hit home with anyone who's ever had an adult mentor profoundly touch them (not like that). The parent-child dynamic between the two was obvious, between the orphaned Will and the (presumably) childless widower Sean, but its being obvious didn't take away from the development of the relationship between the two men and the growth they gained from each other.

I liked the way the movie was shot. Pretty conservative minus a few noticeably long closeups during poignant moments. The music was also very conservative—Elliot Smith certainly had the corner on the late 90s-early naughties art-house melodrama soundtrack—but I thought it fit the mood. Danny Elfman's score articulated some moments but didn't ever really get in the way of the human moments of the film. (I feel like with most film scores in non-action movies, the less you notice, the better. I didn't notice this one.)

This wasn't an overly dark film, and the moments of legitimate humor did well to pick the film up and counter the grating and pretentious Stellan Skarsgård character, Will's mathematics professor. Will's wit combined with his encyclopedic knowledge of literature and theory lead to some of the movie's best moments, both in serious and whimsical scenes, and even if he's the only one, he's an unforgettable movie character. Again, one of my major criticisms of the story would be the ending, but I left happy and the lack of resolution was nagging at me, so I guess I got what I was looking for.

See this if you haven't; it's good.

Potent Potables 21:53

grandma wakemans, the next day

Tired of the same old drinks at the bar? Sure, everyone has an old standby mix drink, but sometimes you want to change it up and try something different! Impress your date or your friends by ordering a round of one of these hip new drinks at the bar this summer.

redneck dream
This drink was formerly known as the "Baghdad Pipe Bomb" - a name it gained from its similarity to the popular "Irish Car Bomb." In principle, they're the same drink: drop some liquor into some beer and chug. Instead of Guinness, though, you're using PBR, and instead of Jameson and Bailey's, you're using bottom-shelf vodka. It's not as bad as it sounds. In fact, it goes down really smoothly; the added alcohol from the vodka makes the PBR almost taste like a more expensive microbrew pale ale or something. The aftertaste is a kick in the throat, though. It's horrible. The name was changed due mostly to my being afraid of getting punched in the face when ordering this. The new name was an off-the-cuff suggestion from Kyle, a bartender at PJ Dorsey's in Syracuse, and a pretty damn good suggestion at that.

best served in: a dirty pint glass and a Confederate-flag shot glass
garnish with: what are you, some kinda queer?
pair with: dry-rubbed ribs and some corn on the cob that's been sitting in a hot pan for 4 hours


bark and stormy
A brainchild of legendary college football coach Howard Schnellenberger (or edsbs's caricature of him, at least), the Bark and Stormy is not a drink for the faint of heart. The original recipe calls simply for "dark rum poured over random tree bark in a tumbler." Although the drink is very young, there are already some variations. Some like to cut the rum with some lemon-lime soda, cola, or ginger ale, and one amateur mixologist has actually begun microwaving the bark until it sizzles before adding the the spirit.

garnish with: a tree branch or pine bough; leaves
watch out for: little pieces of bark ending up in your mouth
makes you so drunk that: it takes four tries to take a picture of it


low-cal irish coffee
An Irish coffee with no whipped cream; this is the Irish Coffee of choice when alcohol-infused whipped cream is not available.

pros: lower in calories than a normal Irish Coffee
cons: really hard to order in a manly way


grandma wakeman shot
A genius drink, simple in preparation yet elegant in presentation. Simply put, a Grandma Wakeman shot is a normal shot of liquor, taken not from a shot glass but from the eponymous Grandma Wakeman's antique china set. (You can substitute any name for Grandma Wakeman, depending on whose china you're using, but you can also use Grandma Wakeman as a generic name for this shot.)

name best repeated ad nauseam to the tune of: YEAH, ah ha, you know what it is... GRANDMA WAKEMAN GRANDMA WAKEMAN GRANDMA WAKEMAN GRANDMA WAKEMAN (also works for "Bark and Stormy")
chase with: lukewarm Keystone Ice or Stella Artois
Mario Kart 64 battle stage pairing: Skyscraper


privy to the new shit
A provisional name for a truly fantastic drink. At a recent party, a mix master known only as Benji had a hankering for White Russians after watching The Big Lebowski. ("Hey, hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!") Unfortunately, a key ingredient was missing: vodka. No matter, though, as the Kahlua, Bailey's, and alcohol-infused whipped cream made a delicious drink on their own. The addition of a liquefied E.L. Fudge cookie only enhanced the flavor of the other components, and this pidgin White Russian made its way into mix drink lore.

acceptable substitute cookies to blend in: low-fat chips ahoy (not because of calorie-counting but because they genuinely taste better; see also coke, diet)
will it blend? YES!!! (Preferably in a "Magic Bullet" blender)
pair with: those ridiculously good pita chips we had the other night



That about exhausts the recent drink catalog; the only other one that I think needs to be mentioned is the "Nuclear Bomb," like a Redneck Dream but instead of cheap beer and cheap vodka, you use the strongest beer and strongest spirit available. For instance, a Belgian Triple with Bacardi 151. (Have an ambulance on standby.)

A few thoughts. 23:59

Well, my writing challenge failed. Mostly because when I get home from going out I never feel like writing, and I kind of go out a lot. I saw a term today that I liked: "adultolescence." I'd probably heard it before but I saw it in the description of one of Harto's YouTube videos and it made me laugh and think of myself. This girl's video's are a little hit or miss but I like My Drunk Kitchen, partly because it's funny, partly because I just completely am on board with the concept and think this girl and I would be good friends, and partly because it makes me wonder what my old public access show could have been had we discovered alcohol at the time.

Sometimes I think the adults and some of the not-adults in my life - and let's face it, I am more or less an adult - are starting to give me this reputation as some kind of fierce drinker. Which, really, is not true. I've had a handful of rough nights since my return to Syracuse some months ago, but those have led me to quit hard liquor almost completely. Since then, I haven't gotten terribly drunk, I've had less to drink, and I've enjoyed myself more. Just because I go out a lot doesn't mean I am vagrant-level drunk all the time.

I just had my headphones on the wrong ear and it's AMAZING how much it bothered me. I noticed something was off almost immediately and I feared they were broken before I checked to make sure I had R and L on R and L, respectively. Even hearing a song for the first time, I could tell something was off. I guess we're just very conditioned to hear the majority of sound mixed to the left ear. Having that switched was really disorienting.

Some thoughts as I enjoy some late-night extra innings baseball 23:50

• Yankees just took a 3-1 lead in the 15th inning against the Orioles. I just love intense, extra-innings baseball. One of my favorite games ever was a wild one between the Yankees and Red Sox years ago, where Jeter dove into the stands and got hurt, the Yankees had to move their DH into the field and thus lost their DH, the Sox played five guys in the infield... Too crazy. In this game, the Yankees had their last position player leave the game after getting beaned and had to use AJ Burnett to pinch-run. Baseball has its flaws but it's great to watch in person and it's great when you really have to scratch and claw to win a game.
  
• I need to start an alphabetized notebook of new Spanish words and phrases I learn, so I can stop looking them up and start memorizing.
• I need to start another notebook or use my smartphone well so that I can keep track of all these things that I need to do.
• The article I linked to yesterday said to mix things up, and that's one thing in there I sort of disagreed with. Going to new places and seeing new people is great, no argument there. But there's also something to be said about routines. My band friends and I have established ourselves as regulars at the local watering hole down the street from our rehearsal venue. We're also regulars at our Monday night wings haunt. Like the Cheers theme says, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Get a new beer, order a new dish, invite new friends... but no need to abandon what you like for no reason.
• Such a tough time of life to be in a relationship, as lots of my friends are learning, myself included. I think it's important to be independent and unattached at such a time when you could (and should) literally go anywhere or do anything at any given time.
• Interesting, too, how people come and go and come back again with little warning.

That's enough cryptic pondering for one evening. Maybe I'll think of something fun to write about tomorrow. (Ballgame over, Yankees win, by the way.)

¡Organízate! 23:24

The post title* is the title of chapter 2 of my first Spanish book—"Get organized!"—and seems fitting now that I am working in both Spanish and English every day, preparing rough but accurate translations to and from both languages. After I dropped my music major I picked a Spanish major because I wanted something that would be practical in the job market. "A marketable skill" was my catchphrase in that regard. For most of the year following graduation I thought that my Spanish major wouldn't do me a lick of good and that it was no better than any other liberal arts degree... but almost a year to the day later, dammit, it has paid off.

I am going to try to write a little something - even if only a few sentences, a link, or a dumb sports take - every day. It's a little frustrating because I do want to write for an audience, but I also think that personal essay writing / journal writing is completely worthless if you're not completely honest. I will try to paint an accurate portrait of my life and share some anecdotes without completely incriminating myself - not in the sense that I'm doing anything illegal, but just because there are things you don't want kicking around the internet.

Like the 30-song challenge - and I inadvertently skipped one and only ended up with 29, I realized, but I threw in lots of extras, too - I was inspired tonight by a list. This one is not so much a call to action but rather a list of 50 "Life Secrets and Tips" I saw posted on Facebook. I like a lot of these and I'm going to comment on some of the ones that piqued my interested in one way or another.

Memorize something everyday.
Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.

Easy. Doing translations, even though my command of both English and Spanish is fantastic, my Spanish is slightly on the rusty side, and I am constantly dealing with vocabulary and phrases I have next to no prior experience with. I am learning many new words and phrases every day. Looking something up multiple times in a day is a helpless feeling and I should probably start a notebook of new words.

Develop an endless curiosity about this world.
Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and try to experience as many different environments and sensations as possible. This world has so much to offer, so why not take advantage of it?

I like this. I already strive for this.

Get fit!

Duh, done that, and continuing to do that.

Learn to focus only on the present.

Even more specifically, live in THIS moment.

Don’t take life so seriously!

These things are a bit trite but they're also really important. The past is over and the future is a consequence of what you do today. Like I said, I've been in a bit of a rut, but one thing that can help anyone live a positive lifestyle is to not be afraid to laugh at one's self. That's a major change I've made over the last year or so, and it's for the better.

Read books.

Biggest personal goal when I move into my own place is to develop and mow through a reading list. Honestly, I love my computer and I love reading about dumb sports crap, but after staring at a computer screen for 9 hours at work, the last thing I want to see when I get home is a computer, and sports seem to be becoming slightly less important to me. There are only so many hours in a day, and only so many things you can care about. I want to be literate and well-read. I have a reputation of work of "exuding intelligence" which is nice and all but I can't really live up to that sometimes in good conscience. (The "Make it Mad" article I linked to months ago was something of a transformation for me, a landmark... this thing may be a wakeup call too.)

Be honest at all times.

Always. I hate lying and I hate when people lie. I don't mean that in an icy, backhanded way like you'd see on a 16-year-old's Facebook status. I literally just mean that I get this horrible knot in my stomach whenever I try to tell a lie or be dishonest (when it isn't just something silly) and I don't understand how others can get that feeling and still do it. (My guess is many of them don't.)

Figure out what your goals and dreams are.

Getting there. I have had a Sticky note open on my Mac's desktop for months and some of the stuff is really outdated - lists of chores from December - but one thing that's stayed and is still relevant is "LONG TERM GOALS," which reads "Travel, higher education, family." None of that's changing and I hope that with the new job I can realize all of those to a greater extent.

Be the person that makes others feel special.

Develop a charismatic personality.

My father had these qualities. Despite being somewhat quiet and careful with his words, that only added to his perceived sense of intelligence and wit, because he only spoke up when he had something clever or smart to say. And when I'm rolling - what I call "New Benny J" - I do feel like I have the ability to be the life of the party. I try so hard to listen well and empathize but I don't know if I have or will ever have that special quality that pertains to the former point, where people walk away from a conversation with me and feel better than they did before. That was what my dad did and it was obvious by the way all his acquaintances came out of the woodwork when he was ill. It was during that time that I resolved to strive to be like him and I think I am doing fine, but I just have to keep trying to lead the best life I can.

Do what you love.

The things I love are simple: tea and good coffee, running, playing the horn, laughing with friends, and great beer and wine. I try to do all of those regularly. Tea and coffee, yes. Black tea and espresso never cease to put a smile on my face. Ever. Running, yes. Laughing, yes. Beer, yes. Wine and horn? Not as much as I'd prefer. But I am going to be playing horn in the local town band and also in the Town's production of West Side Story (for a CHALLENGING change of pace), so I will be doing more of what I love. I enjoy practicing and I might get back into trying to play every day or at least a few times a week. (Feel free to buy me some wine and I'll be back into that too.)

Come up with a life mantra.

Mine changes over time. "Good to go" is what my Facebook said for a long time. "Comity" is what it says now. Both are great. "Swing the bat, puss" was last year's and it worked for a while but kind of betrayed me, though I still crack up when I think about it.

Meditate.

Taking some quiet time away from the warming glow of the computer screen and my awesome new smartphone would be fantastic. This might be a before-bed kind of thing, though doing so during my lunch would work too. It's just hard to manage serenity in the middle of the city, especially one where it never stops raining.



That's about all I have. This was quite introspective and not at all funny but this blog has never had a clear direction so I'm not sure what it really SHOULD look like.

* - I always read and learned that a title is best written last, because only when you're finished with a piece will you truly know exactly what it's about, and you don't want your writing to be married to a title if your writing changes course. So this was not a best practice. BWWFAI? (That is my attempt at starting an internet acronym, BTW, FYI. IMHO it's a good one.)

New Beginning, Lame Title 23:34

Just when I was starting to get fed up with my dinky sales job, thinking that the opportunity for advancement I signed up for wasn't really there and looking for other work, the phone call came. I took a very last-minute trip to Rochester and met my new boss face-to-face for the first time, and after about two hours we essentially had a handshake deal in place for a new position to be created for me at my company.

I could not be happier about this opportunity. I have been living at home almost non-stop since the middle of my sophomore year. While I have no regrets about being there for my family after my dad got sick and passed away, I'm getting up there in years. Aside from my first year and a half of college and the Post-Apocalyptic Baltimore Era, I've been a homebody. It's time to start my own life. It's time to buck up and be responsible and do big person things like shop for groceries and regular laundry and cleaning. I just have the itch and unless something catastrophic happens, I'll be afforded the opportunity with this position.

Since this position is more or less remote and I'll be dealing with people all over the world, I could essentially do it from anywhere. My company is giving me a desk in Syracuse but I have been told I could work from home or just about anywhere as long as things are getting done. I like that because it probably means I could theoretically relocate - either for a change of scenery, to pursue a Master's full-time-ish elsewhere, or fully immerse myself in a Spanish-speaking society. I've been told my "español es muy español," which makes sense given that I studied in Spain, but I will need to brush up on my Latin American colloquialisms.

I am not sure what I want to do - if I want to try to move in with some friend(s) or just get a small apartment for myself. Sometimes I worry that if I lived alone I wouldn't get out enough, especially if I lived in the city and farther away from most of my friends here on the east side, but at the same time, this homebody thinking is what I'm trying to get away from. Some people I know who live/have lived alone have led pretty lonely existences, but I don't know if that would be me. (I could always find a roommate if things did get bad.) There's also the question of neighborhood. Though rent is higher, I'd love to be downtown and within easy walking distance of work.

A few of my good friends are moving away and it bums me out. I feel like before too long most of my Syracusan friends will be moving on. I don't want to live here forever, either - I'd like to have a stint in a big city before I settle down knock on wood - but if I'm here in Syracuse I'll need to try to create some new roots too. I have these romantic ideals for what my life will be like if I'm living alone in the city. Posh, urbane, chic, and other adjectives a straight guy in his 20s should never use to describe himself. That will probably all go to shit within weeks. But then again, who knows. I've affected positive change in my own life before, and it could happen again.

This was a hilarious entry, I know. I have been feeling inexplicably tense today so I just wanted to take some time and write. I am not sure if I feel better following this exercise - been in a rut lately - but we're inching closer. Fingers remained crossed. Even though this gig seems like a done deal, nothing's official until the offer's in my hands.

Thirty-Minute Song Challenge 22:55

I used to love doing those goofy chain letter-type survey things, where they'd ask garbage like "What kind of ice cream did you last eat?" and try to goad you into revealing ridiculously personal information.

Those didn't die with Myspace and AIM profiles, and seem to live on to some extent on Facebook. I've seen this thirty-day song challenge on Facebook, and while this kind of thing isn't really my scene anymore, I do like the idea of this because I have a weird and goofy taste in music, and I'd like to give some thought to the music that's had an impact on me.

I lack, however, both the time and motivation in the morning to think of, write about, and link to each song every day for thirty days, so I'm just going to do it all now and post it here. I'm going to go off the board a little bit when there are multiple songs in mind, but we'll see how I do.


thirty day song challenge

1. your favorite song
   This is a really difficult one to start out with. I was thinking about this for a while and don't know if I just have one "favorite song"... which seems a little silly, given that everyone has a favorite song. There are just so many considerations. My mood at a given time, the "song's" genre, how you really define favorite. For the purposes of this exercise, I'll try to stick with songs (with or without words but not classical pieces). I guess for lack of a clear, standout, slam-dunk favorite song, I'll go with my current favorite song, MGMT - Time to Pretend. It's a fun song with over the top lyrics, but I think it's appropriate for a twenty-something just trying to rock out and have some fun.
   


2. your least-favorite song
   Also very difficult to pick. I have so greatly disliked so many songs and bands over the years, picking one least-favorite song is very tough. So, if I were doing this on Facebook, I'd probably pick some jokey answer like the Notre Dame Fight Song and be on with it.
   


3. a song that makes you happy
   This, to me, is very close to "favorite song," although obviously less specific because it can be any song that makes me happy. My favorite songs tend to be those that make me happy. (Isn't that really your favorite anything? The one from which you derive the most pleasure?) I've already picked some hipstery electo-pop nonsense for #1 so I'll stay away from the awesome song I was tempted to pick and instead say Arcade Fire - Wake Up, which is something of a trite choice (or would have been three years ago), but given that this song marks the end of the week on the Dan Patrick Show and leads up to the DECA-YEAH on Jim Rome... it can't be beat.
   


4. a song that makes you sad
   Track 3 from Sigur Rós ( ) album, unofficially titled "Samskeyti" (meaning "Attachment"), makes me very sad. I listened to this song a lot when my dad was sick, especially on the eve of my 21st birthday, when things really took a serious and sudden turn for the worse. It's a yearning and beautiful song, with a very typically Sigur Rós minimalist sound.
   


5. a song that reminds you of someone
   Despite Brown-Eyed Girl being one of the most overdone karaoke songs of all time, this song actually reminds me of a good family friend who passed away far too young after a grueling battle with skin cancer. I remember him playing this song on his guitar when we went on vacation. It makes me sad but those are good memories, too.
   


6. a song that reminds you of somewhere
   You would think that there would be a lot of songs that remind me specifically of one place, but it's not really so. There are a few that remind me of Spain, but I've referenced them in this space already. Most of the songs I like I've been listening to for so long that they don't remind me of anywhere in particular anymore. One of the only things I've been listening to recently that reminds me of a specific place is Tudo Bem by the Brazilian funk-rock band Garotas Suecas (i.e., "Swedish girls"). I discovered this band thanks to NPR during the Post-Apocalyptic Baltimore Era and I still associate it with the long and hot afternoons spent in the apartment there, hunched under the air-conditioning vent, looking for work or relaxing after a run. That actually happened. So weird.
   


7. a song that reminds you of a certain event
   Too easy. Is there one song that sticks out from the #r20bc - also known as the Route 20 Limo Bar Crawl - more than WEIGHSON SHERBERT, the Jim Rome Show's take on Lady Gaga's Paparazzi? If you say yes, you weren't there or you're lying. #gettinslizzard
   


8. a song that you know all the words to
   I am horrible at song lyrics and even my very favorite songs I trip up on. That makes this an easy pick. The only song I know all of the words to, almost without hesitation, is All Star by Smash Mouth, a favorite of Benny J's since circa fall 1999. This is my late-night karaoke standby because everyone knows it and it's easy to sing.
   


9. a song that you can dance to
   Another easy one. I am a horrible dancer. I can do the Macarena, of course, as any good child of the 90s can, but the dance at the end of this hilariously over-the-topRainbow Road Song was performed to perfection in dance clubs across continental Europe by my friend Alberto and me during my time in Spain.
   


10. a song that makes you fall asleep
    This is a hard one because I really don't listen to music when I'm trying to sleep. Unless the hum of the fan I keep on my bedside during the night to provide white noise and cool the room counts as a song, I don't know if I have a good answer. I had an awfully hard time staying awake during the interminable slow movement of Mahler 4 (too lazy to find a good clip) this summer, so let's just forget about my self-imposed no classics rule and go with that.
    


11. a song from your favorite band
    Favorite band, like favorite song, is difficult to narrow down. I guess I have to go with Ben Folds in some incarnation, though, as I've seen him live a few times and I have consistently enjoyed his music since about 8th grade. (For the record, I didn't really like Songs for Silverman but I think I enjoyed Way to Normal more than most.) Which Ben Folds song? I guess Army for the fond memories of singing the background vocals during the concerts.
    


12. a song from a band you hate
    As much as I hate Creed and most Nickelback, hating those bands is too MAINSTREAM, man. I need to hate a band that understands my preteen angst that I was feeling circa 2003. I'm sorry but I really don't think that this song or its band, Bowling for Soup, have many redeeming qualities. There are so many good choices.
    BONUS SONG: I wrote a while back about at-bat music and M and I were discussing this again recently, and we were trying to come up with truly horrible at-bat music, but not bad in that it shits on the concept of at-bat music (like my girl Sinéad), but more like a song that only a really lame person would think is cool. It's almost impossible to describe this genre, but you know when you hear one. M came up with Smooth, by Rob Thomas with Santana, which is perfect. My vote would be for any Creed song not chosen ironically, or maybe something like Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down. Suggestions?
    


13. a song that is a guilty pleasure
    So I guess this is a song that I'm not "supposed" to like based on my taste or social mores or whatever but actually love. This is a difficult list to put together, because I try not to really apologize for anything that I like... but I think Everytime [ugh] We Touch by CASCADA has to count. I guess it's not a guilty pleasure that I like this song. I typically like dance and light techno and even some J-Pop, especially with a 90s-ish twinge like this song. The guilty pleasure is HOW MUCH I like this song. I go nuts when this comes on. When mixed with alcohol, the results may be lethal or result in the greatest dancing you've ever seen.
    


14. a song that no one would expect you to love
    This is kind of the same as the last one. I understand the distinction, but again, to me, they carry basically the same kind of meaning. I really love Hey Ya by OutKast and I think anyone could and should love this song, but like with the last song, I really love it and that's the surprising part.
    


15. a song that describes you
    My hands are tied here; there's only one song I can pick. Years ago, a good friend decided he was going to ascribe songs to all of us based on our personalities. Given my somewhat neurotic and self-depreciating tendencies at the time. I was the first one assigned a song and I ended up with Puddle of Mudd's classic, She Hates Me, which I think I had coming. (Note: Linking to the Richard Cheese version of the song because the actual rendition is so awful. A song that uses the lyrics "trust" (as a sentence) and "shit went sour" is really not my type.)
    


16. a song that you hear often on the radio
    Born This Way by the fair dame Gaga. Every goddamn time I leave the house. I think this is the worst and least-inventive single she's come out with - I like Lady Gaga generally - and it's a double bummer because I always think it's going to be another song. #genericchordprogressions
    


17. a song that you wish you heard on the radio
    I am not sure what this means. I wish that I still heard this song on the radio, though, on a daily basis. This, of course, being Lust for Life by Iggy Pop, the Jim Rome Show's theme song. (Honorable mention to the Boomtown Rats.)
    


18. a song from your favorite album
    "Favorite album" implies my favorite album to be taken at one time, as a complete work of art. I am having a hard time choosing between two albums, so I'll just cop out and choose both. Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead (off of OK Computer) and Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) by Arcade Fire (off of the still-unmatched Funeral). Both songs have parenthetical titles, both are a little mellow or sad, and both are awesome tracks on awesome albums. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?
    


19. a song you listen to when you're angry
    When you are either falling in or out of love, you feel like every song about love or about breakups was written ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. I still remember listening to Mr Brightside by The Killers causing a moment of shared jealous anger/disbelief with a friend of mine while we were at work when the song first came out. We'd both come off shaky breakups and we rocked out to this song. It gets my vote of "Best Pop Song of the Decade" even though it wasn't specifically a pop song, whatever. (See the last sentence of the last song's post.)
    


20. a song you listen to when you're happy
    There are all kinds of different songs I'll listen to when I'm happy. (Maybe now would be a good time for the caveat that I probably should have listed a while ago: I probably don't sit around and just listen to music as much as most people.) If I'm excited it will be one thing, if I'm content, another. Who knows. I always like listening to Guster when I'm in a good mood because it's mostly upbeat music with bright vocals and instrumentals. Ramona always makes me happy. (I also usually start out every road trip with Rock by Lexicon, from Harold and Kumar, so this was the other song I almost picked. The instrumental is awesome and would be good radio bumper music.)
    


21. a song you listen to when you're sad
    A great, great teacher of mine once told me that he likes music that stings a little bit, so he tends to like minor keys and things like that. When I am sad, I feel that way too, and sometimes like to just completely indulge in it. Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap is a really beautiful song rife with tasteful dissonance and melodramatic themes. Good one for a rainy day. And worth a listen if you've never heard it (or if you've only heard the crappy hip-hop sample of the bridge).
    


22. a song that you want to play at your wedding
    For my mom, I'd want to play Willie Nelson's rendition of Always on My Mind, since it was my parents' wedding song. She would cry and I would cry but it would have to be played, I think!
    


23. a song that you want to play at your funeral
    That's a bit morose. I don't know if that's something I want to spend a lot of time thinking about. I guess the slow movement of Beethoven's Seventh would be an appropriate choice just because it's dark and powerful and it's from maybe my favorite symphony, but if I had to choose something that wasn't featured in Mr Holland's Opus, uh... how about a New Orleans funeral? I'm not even kidding. Don't sit around and mope about me, I hope that I lead a good life worth celebrating and reminiscing about over cocktails and food. Just a Closer Walk with Thee. (Not necessarily that version but I love Patsy Cline.)
    


24. a song that makes you laugh
    The Limp Bizkit Medley of Nookie and Breakstuff is the funniest thing Richard Cheese has ever done, as far as I'm concerned. This song just completely lampoons the concept of Limp Bizkit and does it so well. I love the vamp section where he addresses the audience. Richard Cheese's rendition of Radiohead's "Creep" is also hilarious - I wrote a term paper about it my last semester in school. Weird Al's "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" only gets better with age (and of course "Albuquerque" and "Amish Paradise" and "White and Nerdy"). I don't know if I can count Santana Shreds but yeah, that too. And THIS from San Francisco Rush. I love to laugh so lots of songs make me laugh.
    


25. a song that you can play on an instrument
    That's a tough one because... I mean how much of the song do I have to be able to play? A little brass background lick or solo? Then there are lots of songs I can play. Carrying a melody and singing, using a guitar or piano? Ehhhhh... I kind of taught myself to play a much-reduced version of Sola by Enanitos Verdes on piano because I love the chord progression (and lyrics, for that matter), so let's go with that. My favorite thing to perform on my actual instrument is probably the first Strauss Horn Concerto, though.
    


26. a song that you wish you could play
    You could knock any woman off her feet if you could play and sing this well.
    


27. a song that makes you feel guilty
    Guilty. I don't know. I actively try to avoid feeling guilty; I can't stand lying, or really even being more than mildly dishonest, because I absolutely hate feeling guilty. It absolutely eats me up. Not trying to say I should be beatified for that, but it's the truth. If we're being honest here, I guess Pomplamoose's rendition of Lady Gaga's Telephone makes me feel a little guilty because I tend to try very hard to get in touch with people when they're upset with me, even if they do not want to talk. (Actively trying to defuse conflict.) Every time that happens, I feel guilty and stupid for trying so hard and coming off desperate. I love this Pomplamoose tune, though!
    


28. a song from your childhood
    I don't know how far back to go with my childhood but I guess I'll go all the way back... the first song I definitely remember hearing on the radio was U Can't Touch This (and if I need to list the artist, we have a problem). I was probably... four? Maybe five? On my way to pre-school in a friend's mom's car, this came out. It was a sunny day and it was as we were leaving the neighborhood. Some things stay with you so vividly. And some days, you can't remember what you had for breakfast.
    


29. your favorite song at this time last year
    Well, the one I listened to the most was the aforementioned Richard Cheese cover of "Creep" (and Radiohead's version and Frank Bennett's top-100-in-Australia swing cover, of course) since I wrote a term paper comparing and contrasting the three. I also really loved driving around to Supermassive Black Hole with the windows down. Honorable mention: the weird I Love You, Ono song that was apparently in an HP ad while I was in Spain (where a cute girl from the Midwest played it for me while we waited for a delayed flight in the Madrid airport), and A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley (fueled heavily by the deliciously ironic Michigan football preview video of the season before set to this song).
    

WOW, THAT TOOK LONGER THAN THIRTY MINUTES. Another song nobody would expect me to like is the Paul Oakenfield remix of Starry-Eyed Surprise, it was the first song we'd play at our parties freshman year, almost forgot it. I could keep going, and I guess this was kind of fun, but I don't feel like I have a better understanding of my taste in music, except a further reinforcement that it's completely scatterbrained. If you somehow made it this far, congartulation! A winner is you!

Awesome Business Idea 10:58

With a tip of the hat to my dear friend Edward in Cazenovia, my new business idea:

The Very Realistic Fortune Cookie Company™

What's a typical fortune say? Something like, "All of your family are well" -- an actual fortune I've received. And when I read that one, my dad was in the throes of a losing fight against cancer. Sorry, traditional, overly optimistic fortunes: YA DONE GOOFED.

Our premise is simple, really. Open up a fortune after one's Chinese-food meal, just like any other, except that our fortunes are more likely to resonate with the consumers. (Pun intended on that last word.)

For instance...

• You'll probably never find whatever lofty vision of true happiness you have in your mind. LEARN CHINESE - 伤心 (sad)


• Why bother saving money? The ex wife's taking half anyway, and these Miller High Lifes aren't going to pay for themselves. LEARN CHINESE - 贫穷 (poverty)


• Odds are that you will get into a car accident in your lifetime. So if you haven't yet, you have that to look forward to. LEARN CHINESE - 恐慌 (panic)

• No matter how much you diet and exercise, you'll probably never lose a significant amount of weight because you lack the willpower - just keep eating Chinese food. LEARN CHINESE - 意志 (willpower)


• If you're very rich, you'll probably never be loved for who you really are. If you're very poor, you'll probably never be loved for you really are. LEARN CHINESE - 放弃 (give up)

What better way to end delicious meal of fried chicken and sodium than to read a fortune that will truly hit home?

And that's just to name a few fortunes - we'd hire a team of really depressing but clever people to write hundreds of unique, tantalizing fortunes. Feel free to provide suggestions; maybe we'll have a job for you!

The edible cookies themselves would remain the delicious subtle and understated sweets they've always been.

THE VERY REALISTIC FORTUNE COOKIE COMPANY™
Crushing dreams since 2010.

* - Just so we're clear, I'm only like 40% kidding about this idea. Investors, come hither!

I hate ironing. 22:54

An incomplete list of things I'd prefer to do over attempting to iron a dress shirt:

• Lick a cactus.


• Have a snowball fight with Randy Johnson.


• Write a poetic ode extolling the virtues of John Thompson III and Georgetown University.


• Watch an episode of Sex and the City.


• Watch two episodes of Sex and the City.


• Eat a jar of mayonnaise.


• Singe off all my body hair using a blowtorch.


• Get chewed out by Jim Boeheim for ten minutes.


• Ask Jim Calhoun about Ryan Gomes.


• Munch on a nice hunk of tinfoil.


• Pry my teeth out one by one with a rusty set of pliers.


• Intentionally slam each of my fingers into a car door.


• Hunker down for an all-day Tyler Perry movie marathon.


• Count thousands of blades of grass, have some little kid come up and distract me about three quarters of the way through, and have to start over.

I can't think of any more. I don't like ironing, and I can't wait until I'm making 12 figures and I can just send my zillion-dollar shirts off to be dry cleaned every time I wear them.