21 September 2010

Genesis

I have been in a bit of a funk lately and I've basically realized that I've washed up on the shores of real life without a clue as to who I am or what I should be doing. I realize that I now find myself in the very unique position of being a twenty-something who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. Still, it's a real predicament. The last almost 20 years have been spent being little more than a professional student. Now that I've (at least temporarily) retired from that position, I have this sense like everything I've once liked is gone and I don't know what the heck to do with myself, even in leisure time.

Sure, I have hobbies. I love to watch and follow sports. That's easy enough to do. But aside from that? I like gaming... but old-school stuff. I have logged FAR more hours on my N64 over the last few years than I have on my XBOX360 (or that of someone with whom I live). That's not a bad thing -- I'm a cheap date when it comes to video games -- but I feel silly continually playing through the same handful of classic RPGs and platformers I've loved since I was a kid. The world contains lots of NEW knowledge; too much to spend cooped up appreciating games made when I was eight years old.

My other principal interests are tough to pursue as a borderline-broke twenty-something living in a cheap apartment: travel, fine wines, and playing the French horn. (Too expensive, too expensive, and too loud, respectively.)

(I love good music and films but I can't bring myself to be so trite as to actually say "I like movies and music." Oh, really? That's so fascinating. Let me guess: oxygen and water are also high on your list.)

I'm also interested in physical fitness and keeping myself thin and healthy but that's more of a lifestyle choice than an interest and I'd sort of like to keep it that way. Kind of like how one can be Christian and believe in Jesus, or be Christian and believe in JEE-zus. With respect to fitness, I'm the former.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that, now that school's over, I feel like my identity is gone, and since I've done little more than dip my toe into other fields and passions, I'm left without many other true passions to sink my teeth into, except writing lengthy self-examinations with too many "justs" and tired clichés like "sink my teeth into".

So that's what I'm going to do. My goal is to try to find myself -- a career goal, a wonderful hobby, inner peace (and world peace?) -- by writing in here. Hopefully, something will jump out at me, both for me to latch onto and for me to gain a small but rabid fanbase writing about. As was once said about about Will Leitch's "Ten Humans" column, this may or may not work.

Oh, almost forgot, I like Spanish too. I need to practice Spanish more, so we're going to have to have some posts in Spanish up in hrrr. Deal with it.

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