Well, my writing challenge failed. Mostly because when I get home from going out I never feel like writing, and I kind of go out a lot. I saw a term today that I liked: "adultolescence." I'd probably heard it before but I saw it in the description of one of Harto's YouTube videos and it made me laugh and think of myself. This girl's video's are a little hit or miss but I like My Drunk Kitchen, partly because it's funny, partly because I just completely am on board with the concept and think this girl and I would be good friends, and partly because it makes me wonder what my old public access show could have been had we discovered alcohol at the time.
Sometimes I think the adults and some of the not-adults in my life - and let's face it, I am more or less an adult - are starting to give me this reputation as some kind of fierce drinker. Which, really, is not true. I've had a handful of rough nights since my return to Syracuse some months ago, but those have led me to quit hard liquor almost completely. Since then, I haven't gotten terribly drunk, I've had less to drink, and I've enjoyed myself more. Just because I go out a lot doesn't mean I am vagrant-level drunk all the time.
I just had my headphones on the wrong ear and it's AMAZING how much it bothered me. I noticed something was off almost immediately and I feared they were broken before I checked to make sure I had R and L on R and L, respectively. Even hearing a song for the first time, I could tell something was off. I guess we're just very conditioned to hear the majority of sound mixed to the left ear. Having that switched was really disorienting.
24 May 2011
18 May 2011
Some thoughts as I enjoy some late-night extra innings baseball 23:50
- Yankees just took a 3-1 lead in the 15th inning against the Orioles. I just love intense, extra-innings baseball. One of my favorite games ever was a wild one between the Yankees and Red Sox years ago, where Jeter dove into the stands and got hurt, the Yankees had to move their DH into the field and thus lost their DH, the Sox played five guys in the infield... Too crazy. In this game, the Yankees had their last position player leave the game after getting beaned and had to use AJ Burnett to pinch-run. Baseball has its flaws but it's great to watch in person and it's great when you really have to scratch and claw to win a game.
- I need to start an alphabetized notebook of new Spanish words and phrases I learn, so I can stop looking them up and start memorizing.
- I need to start another notebook or use my smartphone well so that I can keep track of all these things that I need to do.
- The article I linked to yesterday said to mix things up, and that's one thing in there I sort of disagreed with. Going to new places and seeing new people is great, no argument there. But there's also something to be said about routines. My band friends and I have established ourselves as regulars at the local watering hole down the street from our rehearsal venue. We're also regulars at our Monday night wings haunt. Like the Cheers theme says, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Get a new beer, order a new dish, invite new friends... but no need to abandon what you like for no reason.
- Such a tough time of life to be in a relationship, as lots of my friends are learning, myself included. I think it's important to be independent and unattached at such a time when you could (and should) literally go anywhere or do anything at any given time.
- Interesting, too, how people come and go and come back again with little warning.
17 May 2011
¡Organízate! 23:24
The post title* is the title of chapter 2 of my first Spanish book—"Get organized!"—and seems fitting now that I am working in both Spanish and English every day, preparing rough but accurate translations to and from both languages. After I dropped my music major I picked a Spanish major because I wanted something that would be practical in the job market. "A marketable skill" was my catchphrase in that regard. For most of the year following graduation I thought that my Spanish major wouldn't do me a lick of good and that it was no better than any other liberal arts degree... but almost a year to the day later, dammit, it has paid off.
I am going to try to write a little something - even if only a few sentences, a link, or a dumb sports take - every day. It's a little frustrating because I do want to write for an audience, but I also think that personal essay writing / journal writing is completely worthless if you're not completely honest. I will try to paint an accurate portrait of my life and share some anecdotes without completely incriminating myself - not in the sense that I'm doing anything illegal, but just because there are things you don't want kicking around the internet.
Like the 30-song challenge - and I inadvertently skipped one and only ended up with 29, I realized, but I threw in lots of extras, too - I was inspired tonight by a list. This one is not so much a call to action but rather a list of 50 "Life Secrets and Tips" I saw posted on Facebook. I like a lot of these and I'm going to comment on some of the ones that piqued my interested in one way or another.
Easy. Doing translations, even though my command of both English and Spanish is fantastic, my Spanish is slightly on the rusty side, and I am constantly dealing with vocabulary and phrases I have next to no prior experience with. I am learning many new words and phrases every day. Looking something up multiple times in a day is a helpless feeling and I should probably start a notebook of new words.
I like this. I already strive for this.
Duh, done that, and continuing to do that.
These things are a bit trite but they're also really important. The past is over and the future is a consequence of what you do today. Like I said, I've been in a bit of a rut, but one thing that can help anyone live a positive lifestyle is to not be afraid to laugh at one's self. That's a major change I've made over the last year or so, and it's for the better.
Biggest personal goal when I move into my own place is to develop and mow through a reading list. Honestly, I love my computer and I love reading about dumb sports crap, but after staring at a computer screen for 9 hours at work, the last thing I want to see when I get home is a computer, and sports seem to be becoming slightly less important to me. There are only so many hours in a day, and only so many things you can care about. I want to be literate and well-read. I have a reputation of work of "exuding intelligence" which is nice and all but I can't really live up to that sometimes in good conscience. (The "Make it Mad" article I linked to months ago was something of a transformation for me, a landmark... this thing may be a wakeup call too.)
Always. I hate lying and I hate when people lie. I don't mean that in an icy, backhanded way like you'd see on a 16-year-old's Facebook status. I literally just mean that I get this horrible knot in my stomach whenever I try to tell a lie or be dishonest (when it isn't just something silly) and I don't understand how others can get that feeling and still do it. (My guess is many of them don't.)
Getting there. I have had a Sticky note open on my Mac's desktop for months and some of the stuff is really outdated - lists of chores from December - but one thing that's stayed and is still relevant is "LONG TERM GOALS," which reads "Travel, higher education, family." None of that's changing and I hope that with the new job I can realize all of those to a greater extent.
My father had these qualities. Despite being somewhat quiet and careful with his words, that only added to his perceived sense of intelligence and wit, because he only spoke up when he had something clever or smart to say. And when I'm rolling - what I call "New Benny J" - I do feel like I have the ability to be the life of the party. I try so hard to listen well and empathize but I don't know if I have or will ever have that special quality that pertains to the former point, where people walk away from a conversation with me and feel better than they did before. That was what my dad did and it was obvious by the way all his acquaintances came out of the woodwork when he was ill. It was during that time that I resolved to strive to be like him and I think I am doing fine, but I just have to keep trying to lead the best life I can.
The things I love are simple: tea and good coffee, running, playing the horn, laughing with friends, and great beer and wine. I try to do all of those regularly. Tea and coffee, yes. Black tea and espresso never cease to put a smile on my face. Ever. Running, yes. Laughing, yes. Beer, yes. Wine and horn? Not as much as I'd prefer. But I am going to be playing horn in the local town band and also in the Town's production of West Side Story (for a CHALLENGING change of pace), so I will be doing more of what I love. I enjoy practicing and I might get back into trying to play every day or at least a few times a week. (Feel free to buy me some wine and I'll be back into that too.)
Mine changes over time. "Good to go" is what my Facebook said for a long time. "Comity" is what it says now. Both are great. "Swing the bat, puss" was last year's and it worked for a while but kind of betrayed me, though I still crack up when I think about it.
Taking some quiet time away from the warming glow of the computer screen and my awesome new smartphone would be fantastic. This might be a before-bed kind of thing, though doing so during my lunch would work too. It's just hard to manage serenity in the middle of the city, especially one where it never stops raining.
That's about all I have. This was quite introspective and not at all funny but this blog has never had a clear direction so I'm not sure what it really SHOULD look like.
* - I always read and learned that a title is best written last, because only when you're finished with a piece will you truly know exactly what it's about, and you don't want your writing to be married to a title if your writing changes course. So this was not a best practice. BWWFAI? (That is my attempt at starting an internet acronym, BTW, FYI. IMHO it's a good one.)
I am going to try to write a little something - even if only a few sentences, a link, or a dumb sports take - every day. It's a little frustrating because I do want to write for an audience, but I also think that personal essay writing / journal writing is completely worthless if you're not completely honest. I will try to paint an accurate portrait of my life and share some anecdotes without completely incriminating myself - not in the sense that I'm doing anything illegal, but just because there are things you don't want kicking around the internet.
Like the 30-song challenge - and I inadvertently skipped one and only ended up with 29, I realized, but I threw in lots of extras, too - I was inspired tonight by a list. This one is not so much a call to action but rather a list of 50 "Life Secrets and Tips" I saw posted on Facebook. I like a lot of these and I'm going to comment on some of the ones that piqued my interested in one way or another.
Memorize something everyday.
Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.
Easy. Doing translations, even though my command of both English and Spanish is fantastic, my Spanish is slightly on the rusty side, and I am constantly dealing with vocabulary and phrases I have next to no prior experience with. I am learning many new words and phrases every day. Looking something up multiple times in a day is a helpless feeling and I should probably start a notebook of new words.
Develop an endless curiosity about this world.
Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and try to experience as many different environments and sensations as possible. This world has so much to offer, so why not take advantage of it?
I like this. I already strive for this.
Get fit!
Duh, done that, and continuing to do that.
Learn to focus only on the present.
Even more specifically, live in THIS moment.
Don’t take life so seriously!
These things are a bit trite but they're also really important. The past is over and the future is a consequence of what you do today. Like I said, I've been in a bit of a rut, but one thing that can help anyone live a positive lifestyle is to not be afraid to laugh at one's self. That's a major change I've made over the last year or so, and it's for the better.
Read books.
Biggest personal goal when I move into my own place is to develop and mow through a reading list. Honestly, I love my computer and I love reading about dumb sports crap, but after staring at a computer screen for 9 hours at work, the last thing I want to see when I get home is a computer, and sports seem to be becoming slightly less important to me. There are only so many hours in a day, and only so many things you can care about. I want to be literate and well-read. I have a reputation of work of "exuding intelligence" which is nice and all but I can't really live up to that sometimes in good conscience. (The "Make it Mad" article I linked to months ago was something of a transformation for me, a landmark... this thing may be a wakeup call too.)
Be honest at all times.
Always. I hate lying and I hate when people lie. I don't mean that in an icy, backhanded way like you'd see on a 16-year-old's Facebook status. I literally just mean that I get this horrible knot in my stomach whenever I try to tell a lie or be dishonest (when it isn't just something silly) and I don't understand how others can get that feeling and still do it. (My guess is many of them don't.)
Figure out what your goals and dreams are.
Getting there. I have had a Sticky note open on my Mac's desktop for months and some of the stuff is really outdated - lists of chores from December - but one thing that's stayed and is still relevant is "LONG TERM GOALS," which reads "Travel, higher education, family." None of that's changing and I hope that with the new job I can realize all of those to a greater extent.
Be the person that makes others feel special.
Develop a charismatic personality.
My father had these qualities. Despite being somewhat quiet and careful with his words, that only added to his perceived sense of intelligence and wit, because he only spoke up when he had something clever or smart to say. And when I'm rolling - what I call "New Benny J" - I do feel like I have the ability to be the life of the party. I try so hard to listen well and empathize but I don't know if I have or will ever have that special quality that pertains to the former point, where people walk away from a conversation with me and feel better than they did before. That was what my dad did and it was obvious by the way all his acquaintances came out of the woodwork when he was ill. It was during that time that I resolved to strive to be like him and I think I am doing fine, but I just have to keep trying to lead the best life I can.
Do what you love.
The things I love are simple: tea and good coffee, running, playing the horn, laughing with friends, and great beer and wine. I try to do all of those regularly. Tea and coffee, yes. Black tea and espresso never cease to put a smile on my face. Ever. Running, yes. Laughing, yes. Beer, yes. Wine and horn? Not as much as I'd prefer. But I am going to be playing horn in the local town band and also in the Town's production of West Side Story (for a CHALLENGING change of pace), so I will be doing more of what I love. I enjoy practicing and I might get back into trying to play every day or at least a few times a week. (Feel free to buy me some wine and I'll be back into that too.)
Come up with a life mantra.
Mine changes over time. "Good to go" is what my Facebook said for a long time. "Comity" is what it says now. Both are great. "Swing the bat, puss" was last year's and it worked for a while but kind of betrayed me, though I still crack up when I think about it.
Meditate.
Taking some quiet time away from the warming glow of the computer screen and my awesome new smartphone would be fantastic. This might be a before-bed kind of thing, though doing so during my lunch would work too. It's just hard to manage serenity in the middle of the city, especially one where it never stops raining.
That's about all I have. This was quite introspective and not at all funny but this blog has never had a clear direction so I'm not sure what it really SHOULD look like.
* - I always read and learned that a title is best written last, because only when you're finished with a piece will you truly know exactly what it's about, and you don't want your writing to be married to a title if your writing changes course. So this was not a best practice. BWWFAI? (That is my attempt at starting an internet acronym, BTW, FYI. IMHO it's a good one.)
16 May 2011
New Beginning, Lame Title 23:34
Just when I was starting to get fed up with my dinky sales job, thinking that the opportunity for advancement I signed up for wasn't really there and looking for other work, the phone call came. I took a very last-minute trip to Rochester and met my new boss face-to-face for the first time, and after about two hours we essentially had a handshake deal in place for a new position to be created for me at my company.
I could not be happier about this opportunity. I have been living at home almost non-stop since the middle of my sophomore year. While I have no regrets about being there for my family after my dad got sick and passed away, I'm getting up there in years. Aside from my first year and a half of college and the Post-Apocalyptic Baltimore Era, I've been a homebody. It's time to start my own life. It's time to buck up and be responsible and do big person things like shop for groceries and regular laundry and cleaning. I just have the itch and unless something catastrophic happens, I'll be afforded the opportunity with this position.
Since this position is more or less remote and I'll be dealing with people all over the world, I could essentially do it from anywhere. My company is giving me a desk in Syracuse but I have been told I could work from home or just about anywhere as long as things are getting done. I like that because it probably means I could theoretically relocate - either for a change of scenery, to pursue a Master's full-time-ish elsewhere, or fully immerse myself in a Spanish-speaking society. I've been told my "español es muy español," which makes sense given that I studied in Spain, but I will need to brush up on my Latin American colloquialisms.
I am not sure what I want to do - if I want to try to move in with some friend(s) or just get a small apartment for myself. Sometimes I worry that if I lived alone I wouldn't get out enough, especially if I lived in the city and farther away from most of my friends here on the east side, but at the same time, this homebody thinking is what I'm trying to get away from. Some people I know who live/have lived alone have led pretty lonely existences, but I don't know if that would be me. (I could always find a roommate if things did get bad.) There's also the question of neighborhood. Though rent is higher, I'd love to be downtown and within easy walking distance of work.
A few of my good friends are moving away and it bums me out. I feel like before too long most of my Syracusan friends will be moving on. I don't want to live here forever, either - I'd like to have a stint in a big city before I settle down knock on wood - but if I'm here in Syracuse I'll need to try to create some new roots too. I have these romantic ideals for what my life will be like if I'm living alone in the city. Posh, urbane, chic, and other adjectives a straight guy in his 20s should never use to describe himself. That will probably all go to shit within weeks. But then again, who knows. I've affected positive change in my own life before, and it could happen again.
This was a hilarious entry, I know. I have been feeling inexplicably tense today so I just wanted to take some time and write. I am not sure if I feel better following this exercise - been in a rut lately - but we're inching closer. Fingers remained crossed. Even though this gig seems like a done deal, nothing's official until the offer's in my hands.
I could not be happier about this opportunity. I have been living at home almost non-stop since the middle of my sophomore year. While I have no regrets about being there for my family after my dad got sick and passed away, I'm getting up there in years. Aside from my first year and a half of college and the Post-Apocalyptic Baltimore Era, I've been a homebody. It's time to start my own life. It's time to buck up and be responsible and do big person things like shop for groceries and regular laundry and cleaning. I just have the itch and unless something catastrophic happens, I'll be afforded the opportunity with this position.
Since this position is more or less remote and I'll be dealing with people all over the world, I could essentially do it from anywhere. My company is giving me a desk in Syracuse but I have been told I could work from home or just about anywhere as long as things are getting done. I like that because it probably means I could theoretically relocate - either for a change of scenery, to pursue a Master's full-time-ish elsewhere, or fully immerse myself in a Spanish-speaking society. I've been told my "español es muy español," which makes sense given that I studied in Spain, but I will need to brush up on my Latin American colloquialisms.
I am not sure what I want to do - if I want to try to move in with some friend(s) or just get a small apartment for myself. Sometimes I worry that if I lived alone I wouldn't get out enough, especially if I lived in the city and farther away from most of my friends here on the east side, but at the same time, this homebody thinking is what I'm trying to get away from. Some people I know who live/have lived alone have led pretty lonely existences, but I don't know if that would be me. (I could always find a roommate if things did get bad.) There's also the question of neighborhood. Though rent is higher, I'd love to be downtown and within easy walking distance of work.
A few of my good friends are moving away and it bums me out. I feel like before too long most of my Syracusan friends will be moving on. I don't want to live here forever, either - I'd like to have a stint in a big city before I settle down knock on wood - but if I'm here in Syracuse I'll need to try to create some new roots too. I have these romantic ideals for what my life will be like if I'm living alone in the city. Posh, urbane, chic, and other adjectives a straight guy in his 20s should never use to describe himself. That will probably all go to shit within weeks. But then again, who knows. I've affected positive change in my own life before, and it could happen again.
This was a hilarious entry, I know. I have been feeling inexplicably tense today so I just wanted to take some time and write. I am not sure if I feel better following this exercise - been in a rut lately - but we're inching closer. Fingers remained crossed. Even though this gig seems like a done deal, nothing's official until the offer's in my hands.