No Spelling Allowed

I am in an unfortunate position shared by many around the world, and especially by Americans: I have a last name I have to spell. Every time.

No, you wouldn't think that "Party" is a name that would give people trouble—it's a pretty standard English word—but every time I need to give my name, I have to spell it or they get it wrong. And I'm not alone. Anyone with a last name that is anything outside the basic set of English names, or anyone with any kind of spelling quirk in their name, more or less needs to spell it every single time. If you fall into either of those last categories: I feel for you, man! We are brothers in name-spelling! It is time for us to commiserate!

Those with easy names don't understand us. Whether you're a Harrison, a Smith, a Jackson, a Johnson... or a James, a Thomas, a Miller, an Anthony... you have it made. You don't need to repeat your name 12 times when you're ordering a pizza. You don't need to spell it. You don't need to know the NATO Phonetic Alphabet. You don't need a go to "X as in Y" for every letter in your name. You don't need to correct substitute teachers, waiting room attendants, and hostesses. You just prance through life, oblivious to the blind frustration shared by the Rzepecskis, the Albaladejos, the Snavelys, the Oots, the van der Berghs, the McKeevers, the Costellos... the list goes on.

What I'd give for a last name I didn't have to spell!