Ideas I've Had
Don't steal them!
* Laundromat/Restaurant - You bring your laundry and instructions for your clothes, hand them to the maitre d' (two loads only!) and sit down for a nice dinner! The service won't be especially fast -- this is a restaurant, not a McDonald's, and we need time to do the laundry -- but when you've enjoyed a modestly priced three-course meal, voila! Your laundry is clean and folded, and you're full. Everything would be covered under one blanket price -- the three-course meal and the laundry service. This would be perfect for middle-class couples looking for a night out and a break from laundry all at the same time. (Also for families!)
* Worldwide Umbrella Network - Umbrellas must be cheap to make because ballparks and promotional events give them away all the time. So as a rider on some important Congressional bill, include the following provision: The United States will produce about a billion national umbrellas. Every business and non-profit in the United States will receive about five. (Rough estimate.) Then, the National Umbrella Network can begin. When it's raining, you simply take one as you leave a participating entity from an area at the front of the building. When you arrive somewhere else, you put the umbrella away when you enter there. This way, umbrellas are always in stock wherever you are. You could always keep and carry your own umbrella, but there's no reason, because you could also use the National Umbrella Network. (Sounds like the healthcare issue, too.) No need to register or anything -- just take an umbrella, and leave an umbrella later. (Hoarding, of course, would be punishable by imprisonment.) Assuming this is a wild success on the domestic front, the operation would expand worldwide, creating a Worldwide Umbrella Network. IT JUST MAKES SENSE.
* Hot Dr. Pepper - Everyone loves their hot drinks: cocoa, tea, coffee, mate, etc. Everyone loves soda! (Except me, but that's a lie. I still love it, I just don't drink it anymore. Except when I drink.) The obvious connection is to combine the two. Boil up some Dr. Pepper and see what comes out the other end! If it's anything besides caramelized sugar on your tea kettle, it will probably be fantastic. I mean, how bad could it be? I really want to try this.
* Butter Soda - John and I tried to make this once, with... well... questionable results. Just melted butter and club soda. (When we tasted it, it wasn't pretty... to quote FFVII's Cid, "!@#$#$^#$@!##^$%^#$@#!!!") There's a potential ingredient that spruces it up a bit -- trade secret, of course -- but if we ever perfect this, we could be rich, having invented the next big thing at state fairs nationwide.
* Vodka Tea - This isn't like Irish Coffee -- normal, brewed coffee with Bailey's and Irish whiskey mixed in -- this is tea brewed with HOT VODKA INSTEAD OF HOT WATER. I know, the idea sounds phenomenal in theory, but I've tried it, and it's not really that good. Problem is, though, I used cheap shit. If I were to When I try this again, I will use a top-shelf vodka like Gray Goose to hopefully yield more delicious results. (Also to try: White Russian ice cream! And what about the same concept but dripping hot vodka through coffee grounds? Maybe some Three Olives grape vodka, for grape vodka coffee.)
* Rum Oatmeal, or R'oatmeal (for short) - Exceedingly simple: normal oatmeal made with hot water and milk (plus brown sugar to flavor), with a shot of spiced rum mixed in. In the words of the great Merill Howard Kalin, "Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!" If there can be butter rum ice cream, why not Rum & Spice R'oatmeal?
* Super S'mores - Use Low-Fat Chips Ahoy (the greatest mass-produced cookie ever) instead of graham crackers to make your s'more. (They have a sort of graham-y taste.) And you don't have to stop there! Split an Oreo, or use two Oreos, and try that! Or maybe a bagel. Or two pieces of French toast!
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